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Why this… Why now…

I’ve already tried everything else.

Listening to God is a funny thing. Just because I can hear His instructions and advice doesn’t mean that I always follow them. Heck, I would consider me nailing it if I thought I listened even half of the time!

Each time I felt God leading me to write about my relationship with Him, I would run instead of simply listening to what God whispered. This was an easy move on my part, considering my brain is routinely brimming with ideas. Endless ideas is certainly a gift I am still learning to hone. I have tried every idea that I thought was remotely feasible in order to avoid writing about the very thing I am writing about now.

Please don’t get me wrong! I love talking about how I see God in my day, and the conversations we have (you know… God and I) to my very close friends and family. But that is clearly not what Jesus intended us to do. He intended us to go spread the word.  I thought, but who am I to talk about my faith? How is my story significant?

I believe in God with all I am. I just don’t necessarily listen to His instructions for my life.  Genius move right? I go into things kicking and fighting after trying everything else I can beforehand. Who am I to talk about following the path God laid out for you when I avoided mine for 25 years?

When I wasn’t whining about my faith and obedience not being stellar, I was complaining about how I perceived this writing idea. It seemed so narcissistic to write about me and my experiences. If God was calling me to do something, shouldn’t it be aligned with what I deem worthy? (oh yes… we will touch on this later) Shouldn’t I be called to go on a mission, volunteer, collect things, or even bake a casserole? I so very wanted to be the lady that always brought a casserole!

So I said to God, “Really? Write about the times I didn’t listen and the times I did? Write about our conversations?” I just don’t get it. The next thing that He said, is what sealed the deal for me.

Nothing is insignificant.

He gently explained that everyone plays a key role in serving Him. He needs people to write and simply tell their story so that the action takers and doers can hear the message and do what they are called to do.

It’s like the humble drummer boy in battle. He may not carry a weapon, or ever fight a battle, but without his constant beats and coded messages, the soldiers would be lost. When he wasn’t drumming, his job was to be a stretcher bearer. He would walk around the battle field looking for wounded soldiers and bring them to medical care.

So that is my why.

My hope and prayer is that through Him, my words are shown to you at the moment you need them. So that they may inspire you to do exactly what God is calling you to do. To see that following God’s call is not so scary after-all. That they find you when you are wounded on the field of life, and bring you the healing you need to continue to fight strong.

My hope and prayer is that through Him, my words are shown to you at the moment you need them. So that they may inspire you to do exactly what God is calling you to do. To see that following God’s call is not so scary after-all. That they find you when you are wounded on the field of life, and bring you the healing you need to continue to fight strong. Nikol Murphy

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2 Responses to Why this… Why now…

  1. Tiffany at #

    I love this! Realizing that nothing is insignificant is so important. I remember as a Teen when I heard that first call I told my Grandmother that I had too many mistakes to be an example to anyone. She told me it was those mistakes that would help others relate. To realize that God chooses the flawed to show forth His perfection. Thank you so much for taking this first step to heading your call and sharing your conversations. I look forward to following along as you take this journey…

    PS – don’t you love how God speaks to us in a whisper? It forces us to focus not on that around us but on His voice alone 🙂

    • Your grandmother sounds like a very wise and kind lady.I had to have several people tell me many times that neither I or my relationship with God needed to be perfect in order for me to be useful. Including… you know… God.

      As for whispers, they are my preferred method of communication. I have learned to listen and act when God is whispering, because when He needs to smack me aside the head, I am usually not a fan of the circumstance. 😀

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